im gay
i know
yea but for you.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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