1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
