We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
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Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
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Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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