I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
