Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.

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  (813): Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago. http://tfl.nu/p2wp
  Replies (20) Good night (3702) Bad night (665)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door

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  (253): I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door http://tfl.nu/jqcf
  Replies (12) Good night (1002) Bad night (2308)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup

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  (918): it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup http://tfl.nu/9c9q
  Replies (11) Good night (2245) Bad night (510)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.

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  (317): I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap. http://tfl.nu/sbkp
  Replies (16) Good night (2747) Bad night (564)
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  (707): View more from California

  so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?

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  (707): so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal? http://tfl.nu/w2t0
  Replies (27) Good night (1014) Bad night (3208)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.

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  (917): OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE. http://tfl.nu/leeu
  Replies (23) Good night (678) Bad night (4130)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning

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  (503): i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking (1-503): I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning http://tfl.nu/mjdo
  Replies (14) Good night (4783) Bad night (734)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.

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  (504): Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon. http://tfl.nu/mwyy
  Replies (19) Good night (1226) Bad night (4277)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.

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  (206): and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment. http://tfl.nu/jfbz
  Replies (4) Good night (1092) Bad night (2629)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.

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  (414): He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after. http://tfl.nu/s41l
  Replies (8) Good night (3611) Bad night (780)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.

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  (540): I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them. http://tfl.nu/t9kz
  Replies (6) Good night (1185) Bad night (2802)
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  (714): View more from California

  You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.

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  (714): You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus. http://tfl.nu/3jtv
  Replies (2) Good night (1562) Bad night (495)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.

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  (904): It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo. http://tfl.nu/jdtj
  Replies (9) Good night (2209) Bad night (443)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream

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  (443): i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream http://tfl.nu/zdot
  Replies (9) Good night (524) Bad night (1402)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.

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  (870): I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards. http://tfl.nu/javn
  Replies (13) Good night (692) Bad night (808)

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