Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.