Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
