every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
