I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
