Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
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You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
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I believe in your delicious
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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