If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
