Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
