i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize