dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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