I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
