I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
