Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
