So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
