Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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