How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
