Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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