I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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