i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I deserve this hangover.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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