No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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