I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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