I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you inspire me to be a worse person
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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