Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
