I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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