Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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