real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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