WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
