We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
kristin has been a bad kristin
I feel great
I just peed on a car
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize