therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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