How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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