goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
