those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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