That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
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is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
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Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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