If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
