He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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