doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
