I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
