i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
