I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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