careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
