Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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