My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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