dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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