I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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