And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
