Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
