Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
