I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
