Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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