how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
