Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
