We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
