k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
