u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
