Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
