As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
