I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
