i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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