We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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