At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
