dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
